Have you ever been in a state where everything in your life seems so meaningless? Whatever you did and whatever happened to you seems to lead you nowhere. You are lost and know no escape from this uncertainty of life. I am sure it’s a yes to most. We all will go through this stage and I know its real hard.

This happened to me too. But I tell you, once I looked back and connected the dots I haven’t had any complaints. I feel enlightened and content.

I tell you my story. I was that independent girl working away from home leading a life that I had once desired. Earning money on my own. My biggest dream in my life had always been to be independent and not rely on anybody for anything. And I was living my dream.

But this world of my dreams got broken when my mom left this world. For everyone, their moms are the best. For me too my mom was the best and a divine being. I look back and I cannot find any flaws in her. So selfless, so loving not just to her children but to all.

It was hard for me to come to the terms that she is no more in this world. The question “Why so soon?” was constantly hovering in my mind and it was killing me all the time.

While all these were going on, responsibilities had come on my shoulders being the only daughter(unmarried) of my parents. My elder sister being married has her own life and problems to take care of. So, it was just me and dad at home.

I left my job and sat at home for my dad. I stay at a place where there aren’t any big companies like where I used to work. And whatever job options were there nearby to me was just like waste of time as the pay I would get was a pity. (Let’s not talk about government jobs for now)

So, in short I was jobless and still am. But now I have started seeing the dots of my life. If I was still working, I would never realise that my love, my passion is in writing. When I write, I feel it’s so “me” which I didn’t feel when I was working in that big company. I am not saying that one day I will be a successful professional writer. What I am saying is that I have found what makes me happy.

Now another dot. Why I worked in the first place when I had to leave it. Just 4+ years and all gone. So here it goes. If I hadn’t gone from North to South and hadn’t worked where I had then I wouldn’t meet few people in my life who would be there forever in my heart and my life. If even one dot had gone here and there, I wouldn’t have found what I have.

So, all I wanted to say is to trust the timing of your life. Try knowing yourself and do what keeps you inspired. No one is here forever. Let yourself free and explore within. And live life the way you want..

Lots of love💕

It is you, who is your cause of unhappiness. Try exploring inwards and you will understand life.. 

© Copyright S̮e̮l̮i̮n̮a̮ S̮u̮b̮b̮a̮

5 Comments

  1. Life is full of surprises and we never know when people will leave us….the way you took the good from the bad situation is appreciable.
    Sometimes the things happened in the past will be realised after 9-10 years that why it happened …. and you will be at peace after knowing it.
    Best regards

    Liked by 1 person

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